Note: The following Story is Copyright 1997, by Harry Pellow,
All Rights Reserved. Now available on Floppy Disk from
HCP Research, 20655 Sunrise Drive, Cupertino, CA 95014.
Phone: (408) 727-1864. Fax: (408) 727-0951.
E-mail: maestro@well.com
THE MAESTRO FIGHTS THE FORCES OF DARKNESS
The Maestro's always disliked debugging electrical problems.
Yeah, he knows that the flow of electrons is similar to the flow
of fluids. And fluid flow he understands, engineer that he use to be.
Calculate the pressure drop of Mashed Potatoes in a pipeline?
No problem. That he's comfortable with.,
But those itty bitty electrons zooming around all over the place,
except in quantum molecules at near absolute zero, is much
more mysterious.
Take the following example, from a 1964 356C, please. Actually, it was
a pretty nice 356C. Nice Red Paint Job. Nice black Interior. Pretty nice
rebuilt engine, except it was done somewhere in LA. Even had Fog Lights
installed with a 6 to 12 Volt Converter in the trunk.
The only Real Problems the car had was that it ran on 3 Cylinders, and
it had NO Headlights. That's NADA in the Headlight Dept. And in November even
in California, when that Warm California Sun goes down, the need for
Lumens comes up 'bout 4:30.
Having no Headlights really cramps a 356's style. And yours too.
Besides having No Low nor High Beams, the 356 also had
these almost unbelievable symptoms:
NOTE: in all the below diagrams, remember the Headlights NEVER come "on"!
Zero Condition: With light switch "off" and Turn Signal Switch "off"
all lights are off. This is as it should be.
Now, with Headlight switch fully "on", and the Turn Signal (T/S)
off, the Headlights do NOT come on and the following light pattern results:
off on
LFPL-------RFPL
| | Note:
| | LFPL= Left Front Parking Light
| | RFPL= Right " " "
| | LRPL= Left Rear Parking Light
| | RRPL= Right " " "
| LPL | LPL= License Plate Lights (2)
LRPL-------RRPL T/S= Turn Signal
o o o o
on off on off
With Headlight "on" the "parking lights only" position, and the T/S off:
on dimly on dimly
LFPL-------RFPL
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| LPL |
LR---------RR
o o o o
on off on off
With Headlight switch "OFF" and T/S "on" Right Hand t/s
flash flash Note: BOTH front turn signals on at same time!
weakly weakly
LFPL-------RFPL
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| LPL |
LR----------RR
o o o o
off off off flashing ok
With Headlight switch "OFF" and T/S "on" Left Hand t/s:
flash
weakly off
LFPL-------RFPL
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| LPL |
LR----------RR
o o o o
off off off off
With Headlight switch "ON" the "parking lights only" position, and RH T/S "on":
on off
LFPL-------RFPL
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| LPL |
LR----------RR
o o o o
off off on off
With Headlight switch "ON" parking lights only, and LH T/S "on"
on
not
blinking off
LFPL-------RFPL
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| LPL |
LR----------RR
o o o o
on off on off
With Headlight switch fully "ON", and RH T/S "on"
on
not
off blinking
LFPL-------RFPL
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| LPL |
LR----------RR
o o o o
on off on off
With Headlight switch fully "ON", and LH T/S "on"
on
not
blinking
LFPL-------RFPL
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| LPL |
LR----------RR
o o o o
on off off off
not
blinking
OK, guys, so what's wrong?
Yeah, that's what I thought too- Something's wrong! VERY Wrong.
So what's a Maestro to do?
As the Maestro eyeballed the front hood area, searching for a solution
to this horny dilemma of a problem, he spotted something that isn't in a
normal 356C trunk.
It was that 6 to 12 Volt Converter- used to step up 6 volt to 12 volts,
usually for a modern the Radio/Radar Detector/Car phone.
But when the Maestro glanced at the 356's dash, he saw an
Original Blaupunkt Radio- one that swings both ways, voltage & ground wise,
which didn't need no Steenkin' 6 to 12 volt converter.
So, he continued looking- traced the Converter's wires and found
they eventually went, through four wires of different color and size,
to a toggle switch under the Dash. And from there, to a relay, and from
THERE to the 12 Volt FOG Lights up front.
Hummh, thought the Maestro, always disliking Fog Lights anyway- (they're
sit too low in the car, and get hit by the first thing you run into.
The power input wire to the Converter- came from
the Third Fuse from the Left in the fuse box (when facing the fuse box).
AHA! said the Maestro- that's the Left Hand Low Beam fuse! There's gotta
be a Connection here! I can just feel it...
So, what's a Maestro to do?
When faced with such a situation, the Maestro falls back
onto First Principals. Is thee anything here that is OUT OF PLACE?
Algebraically, this can be expressed as:
ORIGINAL=NICE (almost always true).
ORIGINAL+ADD-ON= MESS
MESS= NICE+ ADD-ON
NICE= MESS-(ADD-ON)
And yes, there as something Out Of Place- the 6-12 Volt converter
used to run the added-on Fog Lights.
Since the Maestro was never a fan of fog lights anyhow (they're
the first things to hit the concrete stop in a parking lot. If that
doesn't break the fog light lens or break off the fog light entirely,
it'll bend the light towards the ground, making it useless.
So, after first carefully documenting the on/off position of every
light in every possible turn signal/headlight switch case, like you saw above,
he cautiously reached in to the fuse box area, with a screwdriver to undo
the 6-12 volt converter's power source wire taken from the top of the
third fuse in- the Right hand Low Beam.
Taking power for the Converter from a Headlight Fuse struck
the Maestro as out of the ordinary.
So, as carefully as if he were defusing a 20Megaton H-bomb, the
Maestro removed the yellow wire from #3 fuse. And waited for the
End of The World.
Nothing happened. The World was saved once again.
NOW the Maestro pulled the light switch to fully "ON"!
And Behold, Light, lumens a-plenty illuminated the Maestro's shop.
Hot damn, said the Maestro. Boy, am I Great or what. Right again,
as usual.
Well, almost. Turned out there was ONE High Beam and ONE Low beam.
Not at the same time of course. On Low Beam he had one Headlight and on
High Beam he had one headlight.
Close, but no Cee-gar!
But least there were Beams of Truth & Light (well, Light, at least),
where there was Total Darkness before. Remember: In the Nation of the
Totally Dark, the guy with One Low Beam is King.
So, the Maestro went to the Right Front Headlight, unscrewed the screw
and popped it out of its bucket.
He eyeballed the Connection.
The Connection was all Red- all Red from the Red overspray from
the recent Paint Job that had coated the INSIDE of the connector (the
body shop hadn't bothered to tape over the headlight wires).
Since paint can be a pretty good insulator when you don't want it to be,
this surely was a possible Cause.
So the Maestro took a small screwdriver and began breaking off the paint
to get back to Mother Base Metal.
Then he got out his Secret Instrument- a Radio Shack
VOM that actually WORKS! (Most of the time.) And a Brand New Digital
VOM he got as a Christmas present.
He hooked up old Faithful's black test lead to the Battery Negative Post.
And touched the Red test Lead to the inside of the Headlight wire (after he
had, of course, once again pulled the Headlight switch to fully "on").
And VIOLA! The Voltmeter showed almost 6 volts.
So, he Triumphantly pushed the headlight back into
its socket, fully expecting it to light.
But it was still a dark, moonless night.
Hummmh, thought the Maestro wondering what was wrong.
So he did the next thing he could think of- and wiggled
the Headlight ground wire inside the Battery Box area, while
eyeballing the Headlight up close and personal like.
The Headlight suddenly turned ON, damn near blinding the Maestro,
but showing him the light:
It was a Bad Ground!
The Maestro eyeballed the Headlight Ground on the vertical
wall of the Battery Box area. All it was is a little screw holding the
ground wires to the wall of the battery box. This little screw was loose.
And the whole shebang was covered with undercoating.
Sigh. The Maestro had no choice but to fix this right!
Give his Award-Winning, Ideal Grounding Idea an actual field test!
And his Special Way of fixing the Headlight Ground Problem once and
for all is as follows:
Remove the damned Headlight Ground screw from the battery box.
Clean off BOTH sides of Battery Box area of undercoating, dirt,
rust grease, etc. Replace the little bolt with a 6mm bolt
(10mm across the flats) that's about 1" long.
(Note- the circular terminals of the ground wires are an itty bitty
bit too small for the 6mm bolt to fit through at first, but can be "adjusted"
by screwing a self-tapping 6mm cheese head through
the circular part of the connection.)
Insert the 1" long 6mm bolt from Outside into the Battery Box area.
Use BIG, 1" OD washers on the Battery Box Side, (or on both sides
if you so desire), and follow that washer with a smaller
"wavy" washer followed by 6mm nut. Tighten snugly.
THEN, onto the 6mm bolt that still sticks out into the Battery Box area,
put on a three-pronged copper terminal like from a Spark Coil,
(and you'll have to enlarge the center hole jusssst a little with the
self-taping screw). Actually- it is better to add a small 6mm washer on
BOTH sides of the copper terminal. Then, finally, place a wavy washer
and a second and final 6 mm nut. Tighten this second nut securely.
This provides an excellent ground on the battery box wall. So, what
is the three-wire terminal for?
Well, for hooking the ground wire to the OTHER Sided of the Battery
Box for the Driver's Side Headlight. AND for hooking yet another
wire that will go directly to the NEGATIVE TERMINAL of the BATTERY!
And you ain't EVER gonna get a better ground that THAT, now are you boy?
And that's just what the Maestro did. And boy when he pulled the
Headlight switch to "on", both Headlights came on BRIGGGGGHHHTTT!
Brighter than most any other 6-volt 356 On The Road today!
The he flicked the Headlights to Low Beam.
And the Right Front headlight went OUT!
WHJZZZTHIS? That damn Right Front Headlight went out???!!!
I thought I had that fixed!
Frustrated, and almost admitting defeat at the hands of the
Electronic Demons, the Maestro's hand clutched at straws, in search
of a solution.
His hand also went to the Fuse Box and rotated the fuses.
Bing! The Right Hand Headlight turned ON!
"Hallelujah said the Maestro. And amazing how often after
a paint job that the fuses get corroded or oversprayed
and serve as INSULATORS rather than conductors!
So, the Maestro popped out the headlight fuses and polished their
ends up on his special machine.
Stuck the fuse the back insider- and VOILA-
ALL FOUR HEADLIGHTS turned ON! Not at the Same Time, of course.
And all the turn signals Worked.
And all the Front Parking Lights Worked.
And the Rear Lights worked too.
Only thing that didn't work was the License plate light.
And that's always been the Maestro's bugaboo.
So, the Maestro checked the License Plate Light's
Connections. They seemed OK. So he unscrewed the lens
and eyeballed the bulb.
Burnt out said the Bulb, all over itself.
So the Maestro walked over three feet to Trusty Rusty and
popped off his License Plate light. Checked his bulb. It was still good.
After all these years.
So he popped that bulb into the 356C and after some twisting and
turning- VIOLA! Let there be BOTH License Plate Lights!
So, ALL the lights worked- Headlight, Parking lights T/S light,
license plate lights. Even the BRAKE lights
The guy came in with almost nothing working, light-wise
and left with EVERYTHING working.
Came in running on 3 Cylinders and left running on Four.
Savoring the Victory, the Maestro turned to the Emergency Virgin Supply
and pulled out a cold one.
See, all you gotta do is
Keep the 5 Faith
Oh, yeah, the Three-Cylinder Problem.
The Maestro didn't actually KNOW that it ran on 3 cylinders,
for he didn't drive it into the shop- the owner did.
But when the Maestro went to do the tune up, he eventually found
that the poor 356 had been running on Three Cylinders.
During the valve adjust, the Maestro found 6 tight valves- 4
intakes and two exhausts.
And he pulled three of the four plugs- all three were perfect.
Should he pull #3 plug while recovering from a Hernia operation.
Nah.
Then he checked the Timing. WOW! Almost FIFTY DEGREES ADVANCED!
Are all 356's run running with 50 degrees Advance these days?
No, at least not the ones the Maestro's done.
So he reset the idle timing to about 2 degrees Advance about as
low as you can limbo, idle-tming wise.
And he still got almost 40 degrees High Speed Advance.
Too much. The .031 Replacement Distributor, like many, MANY others
before it had gone crazy advance wise (Hey, the .031's hold the Record
too- at 53 Degrees Advance in the Distributor!)
So the Maestro replaced the .031 with an .050. Set the timing to
5 degrees Idle and had 34 degrees High Speed.
Then he went to the Solexes. Yes, it was a 356C and yes, they were
Solexes. The previous owner had replaced the Zeniths.
Amazingly, three of the four mixture screws adjusted.
The only ones that didn't was- you guessed it- Number 3.
So the Maestro tried cracking the Idle Jet holder a little to
allow fuel to bypass the idle jet to see if the cylinder would
come back to life.
It backfired a couple of times, but still #4 wouldn't adjust.
So the Maestro had no choice but to check out #3's spark plug.
And when he did what did he find?
He found that the Spark Plug Electrode had been DINGED up against
the ground electrode! By the Piston.
The Shop in LA that rebuilt the engine must've had the head flycut,
but didn't think about the piston coming closer to the head from the
flycut operation.
Too bad.
The Maestro replace the plug with a Bosch W5AC, as non-extended top plug
that would clear most pistons.
THEN #3 mixture screw adjusted!
And after all was done, the Maestro took the 356 out for a test drive.
Nice car. Feather-light feel on the steering, like all good
356s have. Great 4-wheel Disk brakes, like 356C's have.
OOPS, slightly weak second gear synchro.
Oh, and that gearshifter is a loose as a goose.
But overall, a Nice Car.
So when the Maestro returned from the test drive, he jacked the
356 up, crawled underneath and slid the rubber boot off the
front of the Transmission.
And pieces of plastic fell into his face.
Pieces of the Plastic Bushing that used to be the Bushing
for the "U" joint that connects the Trans to the Gearshift Linkage.
Obviously, the Maestro found the cause of THAT problem!
Calling for a rebuilt U-joint with a new bushing
from the Shelf, the Bushing heard the Maestro's call,
and walked up underneath the 356.
The square nut unscrewed itsself. The Pinch Bolt too.
And the old, bad U-joint disconnected itself
and walked over to the "to be rebuilt" pile. The rebuild U-joint assumed
the position and the bolts tightened themselves up and adjusted the shifter
throw.
Viola! New-Porsche Shifter linkage feel once again.
These things happen ifin you:
KEEP THE 356 FAITH!
Use these if you do not have a frame compatible browser
Home ||
Feedback ||
356 Groups ||
356 Calendar of Events ||
Spotter's Guide ||
The Maestro
356 Photos ||
Monterey Photos ||
356 Wanted ||
356 Conditions of Sale ||
356 Cars for Sale
356 Parts ||
356 Books/Videos ||
356 Shops ||
Pacific NW Region PCA
site maintained and designed by Paul Greene /mejor.com