Once he got the Red 356 inside, the Maestro experimented with her and found something particularly funny. Not funny ha-ha but funny "curious". He could put the transmission in Reverse gear, with the emergency and service brakes "on", (applied that is), and let out the clutch pedal fully. And the engine WOULD KEEP RUNNING. But the car, she-a no-a go-a. Yeah, the Maestro thought it was "funny" curious too. So he tried one of his Tricks. A Trick that hasn't had much success recently. You remember that 356'er from Bezerkeley who was a-going up a Bezerkeley Hill when all of a sudden he couldn't go no mo'. The engine wasn't connected to the wheels no mo', and the car, she-a no-a go-a. The Man from Bezerkeley posted this problem on the Internet, and the Maestro made his suggestion that the guy oughta try taking off the rear hub caps. Then put the car in gear with the brakes on, let out the clutch and check to see ifin an Axle nut be a-spinning on one brake drum. Ifin under these conditions, (Car in Gear, Brakes on, Clutch OUT, Engine running), you DO see the Axle nut turning on the Driver's Side wheel, congratulations- you have just stripped the Splines on the Rear Brake Drum! Hey- that's a LOT cheaper than a Transmission Overhaul. Or a new Clutch! The Man From Bezerkely did that experiment, but alas, the Axle nut did not turn. Too bad thought the Maestro, for now it sounds expensive. (And it was, for the Man from Bezerkeley brought (towed) the car down to the Maestro's Shop. And once the Maestro attempted to drive it, and heard the Nasty Rumblings deep down inside the Bowels of the Machine, and saw the Axle nut not turning, he knew it was a Serious Transmission Problem. Removal of the Transmission found all the Ring Gear Bolts broken off, which broke the chain of power distribution, so she a no go-a.) But in the Case of the MaestroMassaged Lady in Red, the Maestro decided to check this one last thing before he began pulling his new engine and Admitting Defeat. Sooooo, he took off the two rear hubcaps, put the 356 into Reverse, set the emergency brake, fired the engine up and released the clutch. Slowly of course. The car remained motionless, with the engine idling happily at 1000 RPM, the trans in Reverse and the clutch "out". From the Driver's seat, the Maestro turned his handsome head to eyeball the Driver's Side Axle Nut. And yes, Gentle e-mailers, there ARE Porsche Gods. For the Maestro could clearly see the Axle nut ROTATING at the center of the Brake Drum! And the car she-a no move-a. Hallelujah! shouted the Maestro, casting his eyes heavenward and praising the Porsche gods to High Heaven. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you..." So he happily called the break-in guy and said, proudly, "I've found your Problem." "Wow! That was quick," said the break-in guy. "So what was wrong with the Clutch?" "NOTHING was wrong with the clutch," said the Maestro proudly. "The Clutch is fine. The problem was your brake drum had the Splines machined off of it by the Axle!" "OMYGOD!" said the break-in guy. "The Owner had a brake job in Washington State just before the trip! Guess the mechanic that did the brakes didn't do a good job." "Well, maybe," said the Maestro. "But maybe it had a lot of hard usage and quick take-offs before. Or maybe it was just its Time." "Anyhow, all it needs is a brake drum and she should be fine. In fact, you might even be able to pick it up today. How about THAT for Same Day Service?" The break-in guy was happy as Happy. The Maestro was happy as Hell. So the Maestro went back to the car, jacked it up and removed the Driver's side rear wheel. Then he removed the Cotter Pin in the Axle Nut. All in the Sun. In 100 degree weather. Then he got out his Nuclear Powered Impact wrench and the 36mm, thick-walled socket. With the air Compressor set at Max Pressure, the Maestro attached the 36mm socket to the axle nut. And pushed the button on the impact wrench. Ever so sloooowly the Axle nut began to turn Counterclockwise. The Maestro applied more Impulse. The nut turned faster. Before you could say Jack Robinson, the nut was off. Over-Confidently, the Maestro pulled off the Right Rear Brake Drum and eyeballed what surely were completely machined-off Brake Drum Splines! Which would, of course, confirm his Diagnosis and be Proof Positive of his Incredible Problem-Solving Ability. The Maestro's eyes eyeballed the splined area of the Brake Drum. It sure seemed like the splines were there! The Maestro eyeballed the splined area a second time. Yep, those things sure look like splines. He took off his optical aides and eyeballed the splines from 2" away, clearly. Clearly, the splines WERE STILL THERE!!! Play that Twilight Zone Theme again Sam. The Maestro really longed for some 15 year old Scotch right about then. For he had been WRONG!!! The Brake Drum splines were NOT "Murphy machined" off by the Axle shaft! In fact, the Splines were in pretty damn good shape! The Maestro eyeballed the Axle shaft. And the Splines on the Axle shaft were IN GOOD SHAPE TOO! The Maestro was in Shock. His Theory of what was wrong, WAS WRONG! Feeling dejected and old before his time, the Maestro picked himself up off of his knees and walked to the Fridge to do Lunch and some Cogitation on the Situation. Which is what YOU, Gentle 356'er should do now- and figure out The Problem! How can the Axle Nut rotate or "turn" and the splines on BOTH the Axle and the Drum be Good??? Well, 356'ers you guys are pretty smart. FOUR people got the correct answer to the Maestro's latest Quiz! Congratulations! The Answer: During Lunch, the Maestro applied some of his Kempner-Tregoe Problem Solving technique to this little beauty of a Conundrum. 1. The Axle nut was tight on the brake Drum- it took many Heap Big Impulses from the Impact wrench to remove it. 2. The splines on the Brake Drum are Good. 3. The Splines on the Axle Shaft are good. 4. Both Spines mate OK. Therefore, Torque SHOULD be transmitted through the Brake Drum to the wheel to the tire, and the car should MOVE! Q.E.D. But the Car, the Wheel and the Brake Drum, she-a no-a turn-a-! Well, said the Center of Higher Reasoning, "Is the Brake Drum Continuous? Like One-Piece?" "Well, nooooo," said the Maestro to himself. "There's an outer Aluminum fin area, bonded to the Steel Insert that the Brake Shoes rub against. And there's the Steel Center Section of the Brake Drum- where the Splines are that's a pressed-in insert into the Aluminum Brake Drum..." "Hummmh," said his Center of Higher Reasoning. "You say, the steel splined section is Pressed into the Aluminum Brake Drum?" "Yeah," said the Maestro, again to himself. "So," said his Center of Higher Reasoning. "Suppose that the steel section in the center is LOOSE in the Drum! Did you ever think of that?" "Nah," said the Maestro. "I've never EVER seen that! And I've seen a lot of bad brake drums- corroded brake drums- drums with common-mode, Cross-like cracks in them. Cracks that will ALWAYS return for they are caused by WATER getting in BETWEEN the Aluminum Fins and the Steel Liner by capillary action. The water then RUSTS the steel and corrodes the Aluminum. And the corrosion products have a lower density than either Steel or Aluminum, so the VOLUME of the corrosion products is GREATER THAN the original volume of the Metals. So, the corrosion products in the space between the Aluminum Drum and the Steel center section, push inexorable inwards against the steel drum, like a hydraulic ram, distorting the steel drum and causing the cross-shaped cracks! (Which this rear drum ironically had one of.) But the Maestro had never before seen a Pressed-In Steel center splined section "fail" before. Ever! Finishing lunch, the Maestro decided he had little to lose so off he went to the Brake drum to eyeball it one more. It looked fine- just like it did before. But the Maestro knew it WASN'T fine!! He tried to move the splined area, but it wouldn't move. Soooo, he replace the drum on the splines of the Axle, got out the axle nut and his Impact Wrench. He quickly realized that the Porsche Axle Nut with the wide flange has such a wide flange that the flange covered up the steel center section of the drum. So you couldn't see ifin the steel center section was a-moving or not! Hummmh. So the Maestro went off to his Oddball Parts bin and found a VW Axle nut that had no wide flange on it and a washer that had a hole large enough to go over the axle but small enough in Outside Diameter that the washer wouldn't protrude over the steel splines section. So, first he put this washer over the axle shaft and then attached the flange-less VW Axle nut. He placed the Impact wrench's heavy-walled 36mm socket over the VW axle nut. And pushed the button on the Impact wrench to tighten the axle nut. And as he got down to Serious Torque, what did he see but the steel flange ROTATING CLOCKWISE! YES! Yelled the Maestro, and out of Impulse, did a few more Impulses on the Impact wrench, Feeling the Joy of being Alive that Moment! The Splined Steel Center Section of the Brake Drum was ROTATING inside the Drum! And Of COURSE little or no Torque was being transmitted to the rest of the drum nor the wheel nor the TIRE! And that-sa why the car, she-a no-a go-a no mo'! The Maestro called the break-in guy to ah, slightly correct his Diagnosis of the Problem! Yes, it still was the Brake DRUM, and not the Maestro's Clutch (Thank you Porsche gods. Porsche gods are Great. Porsche gods are Great,... repeated the Maestro three times.) And it WASN'T that the splines of the drum had been machined by the Axle Shaft. No, it was much more subtle, it was the steel HUB itself that was spinning INSIDE the drum! What a GREAT present to give to one of your enemies! And the Maestro knows just who he'll send this drum, as an anonymous "present". How'd you like this nice Rear Brake Drum, for a Spare when you break down Out in the Boonies? Put this spare drum on and there you are- still broken down. Here ya go. Yes, and the Maestro has NEVER seen this before. And all his Loco friends had never seen one either! Although they knew it was Theoretically Possible. The Maestro just saw yet ANOTHER Failure he's never seen before. Which is why he NEVER claims that he's "seen it all", because there's always something new under these old 356's! Ifin you: Keep the 356 Faith Maestro