The Maestro's Quiz, 6 January 1997

 
    The Maestro, with his remarkable grasp of the obvious, cogitated on the 
"Why The Valves Don't Move" Problem, and came to the inescapable conclusion 
that something might well be Wrong inside. 
     So, what can possibly cause the engine to turn over, but
the Valves, they-a a-no-a move-a?
     Well, a broken Cam Follower for one. But that would affect only one 
valve. Not all 8. A broken cam? Depending on where the Cam breaks- some 
valves will still work. But here, no valve worked. Clintonomics?
     Clearly something was wrong, was wrong, was wrong with the
Cam Drive Mechanism.
     On a Factory Original Engine there would hardly ever be much wrong with 
the Cam/Cam Drive connection. But on a Turkeyfied Engine, this is not an 
assumption one can safely make.
     So, the Maestro suggested his Typically Turkey Cause to the Guy
on the Phone: that whoever put the Cam Gear onto the Camshaft might not
have bothered/forgot/never knew to install the three BOLTS that 
Firmly Attach the Cam Gear to the Camshaft.
     Yes, there are those three alignment "Dowel Pins" on the Camshaft 
that the Cam Gear aligns on, but those dowel pins by themselves are
not sufficient to hold the cam Gear on for long.
     "They DON'T? Oh, NO!", cry the Turkeys in Unisyn. One says:
"We didn't know what those holes were for!" Another: "Oh, so THAT'S
where those bolts we lost should have gone." In Unisyn:
"We thought these dowel pins would hold the Cam Gear on."
     Nope. Wrong. You really DO need those three 8mm BOLTS to hold the 
Cam Gear onto the Camshaft! This has been proven by Actual Demonstration- 
TWICE! And the Maestro has the Experimental Results of TWO 
Independent Turkey Tests of: 

     "The Effect on Longevity of the Camshaft/Cam Gear Interface when
                  NOT using Cam Gear Bolts."

  (Boy, What a Great Paper for the "Journal of Irreproducible Results".)

     And that's the Question for Part 2 of the Maestro's First Quiz of 1997:

     QUESTION:
     How long WILL a Porsche 356 engine run before a Cam Gear attached 
only by its three Dowel Pins falls off, thereby stopping the engine and
the Experiment. To make it all the more educational, consider it to be
Multiple Choice, one of many such Questions on the Maestro's SAT someday.

     1. Less Than One Mile 
     2. From 1-10 Miles 
     3. From 10-100 Miles 
     4. From 100- 1000 Miles
     5. From 1000-10,000 Miles
     6. From 10,000-100,000 Miles 
     7. From 100,000-200,000 Miles
     8. From 200,000 miles to Infinity

KEEP THE 356 FAITH!
The Maestro