Answer is 'bout 47 miles. More or Less.
One guy claimed almost 100, but his
Odometer wsn't working. In any event:

PRETTY DAMN SHORT LIFE, WOULDN'T YOU SAY?

     You Betcha. And a Lifetime Turkey Award to those Turkeys who 
FORGET to install Cam Gear Bolts or cause them to be left out.
Once again the Light Of Truth shines on the road best not taken.

     So the Maestro told the Guy on the Phone with the Valves That
Don't Move, the tales of the two Cam Gears and how 
a neat way to tell ifin YOUR cam gear has been Turkeyfied in this way
is to see ifin there are any dowel-pin size "dents" right at the dowel
pin holes of the cam gear. (Video Clips to follow.)

     These "dents" are the damage done to the Cam Gear as the dowel pins
work their way loose and come competely out of the Cam, in the Final Fatal
Act of the Murder-Suicide Pact, the inadvertent, Omnipresent Curse 
of the Turkey.

     That was the Maestro's answer.

     Three months went by and the Maestro despaired of ever hearing from
the guy whose valve won't turn engine, when the First Business Day of
the New Year, 1997, who should call the Maestro but the same guy- the one
whose Valves Don't Move- with The Rest Of The Story!

    YES!!!! thought the Maestro, having premature elation.
Boy, there must be a God. There certainly are Porsche gods.
For every time the Maestro had a Good Year- wherein he answered enough 
Porsche Questions, fixed a sufficiently number of Impossibly Rare Porsche 
Problems, answered enough Faxes, e-mails, letters, etc, the gods reward him
right around New Year's Day. Kind of like a Report Card. 

     Ifin he's been VERY Good, he'll get Customers who say, "I don't care 
how much it costs or how long it takes- as long as it doesn't take over 
6 months- I want a beautifully running engine."

     Noooo Problem. As long as there are Virgin Industrial Engines that
still "Crack" virginally when you untorque that last Acorn nut, it be possible.
(Never heard that little scream they make then?  The First Time the
Maestro heard that cry, he was taking the Acorn Nuts off of an Original
Engine when she cried and he thought he'd done something wrong. Maybe even
broke something. But after carefully inspecting all of her parts,
he could find  nothing  wrong. 

     Because NOTHING WAS wrong. In fact, that "crack" was a sign that
EVERYTHING WAS PRISTINE INSIDE. A shorthand way the Factory has of
telling you that Things are Just Fine Inside.

     (Obviously, Turkey engines NEVER make that cry. They suffer 
in silence, never talking about the unspeakable things done to them,
and are hard to bring back as useful members of society.)

     "Maestro, I'm the guy with the engine whose Valves Won't Move."

     "Really? That's Great- I've been hoping you'd call. So, tell me
what was the Real Cause of the Valves not moving?"

     "Well, I managed to get up enough courage to remove the pulley Nut
and the Pulley like you told me. And thanks to your advice,
I pulled out the key in the crankshaft
that holds the Pulley on BEFORE it destroyed the Oil Stinger inside
the Third Piece, and I took off the 11 8mm nuts And they were 12mm
across the Flat like you said they would be. And some were 13mm across 
the flats and some were 14 mm cross the flat. Just like you said they 
would be if a Turkey Overhauled it. And when 
I pulled off the Third piece of the Case, do you know what I found?"

     "Yeeeeesssss," asked the Maestro with Great Expectations,
wishing that someone (Are you listening BILL?) would post
a $64,000 Reward for getting the right answer to an Impossibly Rare Porsche
Problem. 

(When will Jeopardy have THAT category? Wouldn't you someday
like to see the Maestro say: "Alex, I'll take 
'Impossibly Rare Porsche Problems' for Ten Million, please."

  The Maestro was awash in an Ocean of Expanding Ego. Is there nothing
he didn't know? Confident that he was about to be proven right once again-
and marveling in the Power the Porsche Gods have given him.
Will he NEVER be wrong again?

     "And continued the VOP. "You were ALMOST right about the Cam Gear."

     "Almost right? ALMOST right???" thought the Maestro's Ego,
now having vastly  over-inflated itself Dirigible-like to an 
Impossibly High Crescendo, had the air taken
out of his sails. 

  "What do you mean by "Almost", bo'?" said the Maestro.

     "Well," said  the Guy on  the Phone. "The Cam Gear actually
DID come off the Camshaft. But it wasn't because of missing Cam Gear Bolts. 
All the  Bolts were in place and tight."

     "So, ifin the Cam Gear WAS attached by all the bolts
to the CamSHAFT, then how did the cam gear come off?" 
asked the Maestro testily cross examining the witness.

     "It broke!" said the Guy on the Phone. The Camshaft itself broke."

     "But," said the Maestro. "Since NONE of the valves turned, the Cam 
would have to have broken right AT the Cam-mounting flange! 

     "Right. That's EXACTLY what it did!" Said the VOP! "The cam broke 
right at  the connecting flange of the Camshaft.
And so, my next question is:"

     WHY?

     The answer to this awaits Direct Inspection, just as soon as
the parts arrive at the Maestro's shop. Gentleman, (or Gentlewoman
be it as it may), Place Your Bets:


1. A Defective Camshaft
2. A too-tight Camshaft/Cam Bore fit.
3. A piece of Crud wedged between Cam and Cam bore.
4. Something wedged between the teeth of the gears.
5. None of  the Above: it was caused by Something Completely Different? 
      Explain: _______________________

     And:

KEEP THE 356 FAITH!

The Maestro