THE MAESTRO'S QUIZ, 20 FEB, 1997


     It was Monday, January 6, the First Business Day of the 1997 New Year
and the day everyone returns from Holiday Vacation and calls the Maestro.

     The Maestro's phone was ringing off the hook- he had one caller
on hold, one on the phone and one about to drop off into Voice Mail. 

     Some of the things he learned were Enlightening and Uplifting. Others,
downright Scary.

     Let's take the nice ones first. 

     The first uplifting conversation came from a Doctor 
who just had his engine rebuilt by a Mercedes Mechanic.

     "So, a Mercedes Mechanic rebuilt your 356 Porsche engine," repeated
the Maestro with a wary tone in his voice.

     "Why? Is that bad?," asked the Doc on the Phone.

     "Well," said the Maestro. "It's not as bad as having your Porsche 
engine rebuilt by a Ferrari Mechanic, as we have data on them- they like 
to set the Idle Timing to 30 degrees advance "just to get it running".
Which means once your Engine IS running, it has SIXTY Degrees Advanced
Timing! Which means you have Engine Destruction within a handful of miles!

     We have Data on the Volkswagen mechanic too, who THINKS he knows 
Porsche (by Osmosis) but doesn't. (The Worst case of this is when a
VW mechanic attempts to "split" a Porsche case withOUT first removing 
the Flywheel. (On a VW engine you CAN split the VW case without 
first removing its Flywheel.)

     But a Porsche Engine Case has 
two remarkably strong 8mm studs and their associated nuts, one on either
side of the Cam Plug, that must be removed first, BEFORE one tries
to "split" the Case. To gain access to these two nuts requires the 
removal of the Porsche Flywheel. Meaning: YOU GOTTA TAKE THE PORSCHE
FLYWHEEL OFF BEFORE you can split the Case!

     You can also tell when a VW mechanic has "put together" a Porsche 356/912
Engine, by these two MISSING nuts around the Cam Plug that they FORGOT to
install because a VW engine doesn't use them! They are but the Igors
who carry out the Curse of the Frankenstein Turkey.

     "Yeah," said the VOP. "And that's why I bought your Book, Maestro-
"Secrets of the Inner Circle". Unfortunately,
my copy of "Secrets" arrived two days AFTER my engine arrived home,
having been completely rebuilt by my Mercedes Mechanic."

     "Yeah, geez, that's too bad," said the Maestro having heard this 
Sad Story many times before. "And, ain't it always the case that
you get The Books a couple of days AFTER you did the Engine! It's one
of Murphy's Universal Laws. And, now I bet you wish you had 
"Secrets" BEFORE you did the overhaul?"
     
     "Oh, yes! In fact, after I read through "Secrets" 
do you  know  what I did?"

   The Maestro confessed that he didn't know what the guy did after
reading "Secrets". 

   "When I finished "Secrets", I went out to my Brand-New Porsche Engine, 
that had JUST been rebuilt by my Mercedes Mechanic, but never run-

   AND TOOK IT APART!"

     "Very Smart," said the Maestro. "And Very Brave too.
I know how much it hurts to tear apart something you've just built. 
Takes GUTS! 

   But tell me, did you find anything Interesting inside
your Mercedes-Mechanic-rebuilt 356 Porsche Engine to justify 
taking it apart?"

   "YES, I did!" said the guy.

   And that's the Question this week.  What was wrong? And  Why?