THE MAESTRO'S QUIZ, LABOR DAY, 1997 PART II OK, you know that the Youth From Utah has removed all 4 Engine/Transmission bolts and nuts, and all other stuff, but the Engine- she-a-a won't a-come-a out'-a. She-a a STUCK-A! Your Previous Question was to ponder is why the engine, she-a stuck-a? And then, of course, how to get her a-unstuck-a? Only one thing to do at that point - call the Maestro at (408) 727-1864. Which the YFU did. The Maestro never having had an engine that wouldn't come out of a 356 did have Several Stories for the YFU, about what happened to other VOP's (Voices On Phone). "Course," he said. "There was this one guy who used a a TORCH on the Transmission to get one engine out! But that was at a Junk Yard and is not really a nice thing to do to a 70,000 mile 356." And there was the a guy from the Lone Stare State who, after many frustrating hours of trying to get his Case Halves apart, but failing to find that 6th Acorn nut under all the crud, ran a chain through one side of the Case, and tied that to a tree. Then he ran another chain through the other Case Half and tied that to the bumper of his Pick Up Truck. And Got in the Pick up Truck... And, Yes, he DID get the Case apart. No, it never went back together again. And finally, there was the Story of a Seasoned Citizen who bought a 912 Overseas, on a trip back to the Old Country. He drove the 912 all over Europe, and finally down to the Sea to ship it to the U S of A. When the 912 arrived in the U S of A, the Gentleman went down to the Docks to drive his 912 back home. The 912 started, but when the clutch was let up, would go nowhere. Just like in Neutral. Further investigation found that all EIGHT of the Dowel Pins had been severed by the Stevedores who thought themselves Boy Racers. Even worse was that the 912 ENGINE WOULDN'T COME OUT! 'Cause the Flywheel Nut was still attached to the Crankshaft and can't unscrew itself completely because the Clutch Disk (itself imprisoned by the Pressure plate), is right there, a few millimeters away, preventing the Flywheel Nut from fully unscrewing. So, ifin the Flywheel Nut can't unscrew itself, it is, therefore, still attached to the crank! And ifin the Flywheel gets even a little bit "cattywhompus" to the Transmission Main Shaft- just slightly twisted out of being Perfectly Perpendicular to the Axis of the Main Shaft of the Transmission, then you'll never get the Clutch Disk offa the splines of the Main Shaft. (Don't believe me? Try this sometime- place a 356 Clutch Disk over the Splines of a 356 Transmission Main Shaft, remembering when doing this that the "flat" part of the Clutch Disk's Hub should face YOU. Conversely, the extended part of the Hub should face towards the Nose Piece of the Transaxle. With ONE hand, (and only ONE hand), grab ahold of the Clutch Disk by ANY part of the Outside Circumference, and pull towards yourself. Amazing, isn't it? The Clutch disk will bind on the splines and NOT come off! The only way to get the Clutch Disk offa the Splines of the Main Shaft is to use TWO hands- on opposite sides of the Disk. Normally, this feat is easily accomplished by the Pressure Plate which grips the Clutch Disk Tightly, which grips the Flywheel tightly, which is Rigidly Attached to the Crankshaft by the Flywheel Nut. All that tight gripping makes the Flywheel/Pressure Plate/Clutch Disk System pull out evenly and mostly Perpendicularly when you're pulling out an engine. BUT, it can be shown by the Most Casual Observer that with a Sufficiently Loose Flywheel Nut (or Sheared off Dowel Pins), the Flywheel can become sufficiently "cattywhompus" to the Main Shaft that serious Engine Removal Problems can occur. Even to the YFU. "So how DID the guy with the 912 with the loose Flywheel get the engine out?" Asked the YFU. "Hummh," thought the Maestro. "How DID he get it out? Let me think." But the cobwebs had invaded that part of the Maestro's Brain and without his Minimum Federal Daily Requirement of Beer, he couldn't quite put his finger on the solution right then. Can you? So the Maestro told the YFU how to check out through the Inspection Hole in the Transmission to see ifin he could see anything interesting Inside. The YFU did, but didn't know what he was looking for. He did find two other fellow ex-members of the Brigham Young Football Team who both tried and failed to remove the Porsche's engine no matter how hard they pushed, pulled and twisted! "Well said the YFU," reporting back to the Maestro at 3 PM Thursday Afternoon, August 28, it was warm in Sam Bose. "There's absolutely NOBODY here in Utah that knows how to work on these cars! So I'm gonna bring it out to you." The Maestro, having heard THAT one before many times before, said. "Har Har, yeah, I bet you'd like to, but you're in Utah, not Sambo Se." "But, I'm SERIOUS, Said the YFU. "I want to bring it out for you to pull the Engine out. Nobody in Utah can do it." Well, don't give up just yet. said the Maestro. These things take Patience. Sometimes the kind of Patience that only comes with age. The YFU hung up to go back to engine pulling. The Maestro went back to finding out that of the Hundred End Play shims he has, he doesn't have the .039" size he needed. No matter. Jay's Magic Magnetic Fixture Merely machines one of the 0.045" shims to whatever size needed. Gotta get that 5.5 thou one way or another. The Next Day- Friday, August 29th- TODAY! (Almost.) At 1 PM, the Laser Disintegrator Beeps twice announcing an Unarmed Entry, possibly a Customer. The Maestro was giving back to a Seasoned Citizen a set of Solexes, rebuilt after only a Summer's wait by such an expert Carburetor Rebuilder than of his 4 cars and 2 trucks, nothing Runs. When what should walk through the door but a one of best Looking guys the Maestro's ever seen. (And the Maestro's NOT "that" way, but this guy was good-looking.) About 25 years old. No fat. Lotsa Muscle. Gleaming white teeth. "Hi, he says. "I'm the Youth from Utah." No, says the Maestro. "You can't be. You're putting me on, aren't you Dylan? I just talked to you YESTERDAY at about 3 in the Afternoon. And what? It's a Thousand Miles from here to Utah." "Eight Hundred Seventy Six," said the YFU, knowing EXACTLY how many miles it was. "Whoa, uh, that's about Right," said the Maestro. "And Utah is an Hour LATER too, so that made it 4PM Yesterday, and by the time you loaded up you and the 356 and set out it mustave been about 10pm And That's 12 hours till 10AM, and 2 till noon and 1 now so, that's fifteen hours ago. Subtract some rest stops and what? Eighty Miles an Hour, towing a 356?" "That's about right," smiled the YFU, guiltily. The Maestro was AMAZED! The YFU just pulled up in front of the Maestro's Place with his 356 on a simple but effective flat bed tow rig after driving all night from Utah. Needing absolutely no help the YFU lifted the 356 off the Trailer, and onto the ground. Then ever so effortlessly pushed her around the back of the Maestro's Shop. And inside. The Maestro, ever-brimming with over-confidence since the Man from Alaska made it through Death Valley at 120 Degrees with an accidental 50 Degrees Advanced Spark Timing and SURVIVED Episode, though that pulling this stuck Puppy out would be a snap. The YFU, using his bare hands, loosened the nuts on the Engine he had hand-tightened in Utah. The Maestro tried to remove one of those same nuts with his own hand. Absolutely No Way. Took a reasonable push on the socket wrench. So, using the former Football/Baseball Star (and when he showed the Maestro how to throw a Split-Fingered Fastball, the Maestro KNEW there was no way HE could throw such a pitch- the Maestro's Fingers just don't go that way), as a Very Strong Engine Extractor, the Maestro got under underneath the engine. And eyeballed the Engine/Transmission Junction. To see a snug fit. Almost no gap. "Pull," said he to the YFU. A quarter inch gap was about all the gap there be. Hummh, thought the Maestro. So he and the YFU removed the Muffler which appeared to be hitting the body during attempts to move the engine side-to-side. With the Muffler removed, the Maestro and the YFU eventually got the engine out about half-and inch or so. The Maestro looked up through the crack to see what he could see. And what did he see? He saw something No 356 Owner should EVER see! He saw the Flywheel HUB in its entirety! Mostly. The Flywheel Hub is what the Flywheel Seal seals on, and normally sticks inside the Case, 'cause that's where the Seal is. The Flywheel Hub is normally IMPOSSIBLE to see on any assembled engine! But there it was- for the Maestro, the Porsche gods and the YFU all say at least a Quarter Inch of shinny Flywheel Hub, staring back down at them. Bad news said the Maestro to the YFU. It looks just like the "912 and the Dockworkers" Story. "The Flywheel Nut has loosened, but can't come fully off. The Flywheel is now OFF the dowel pins, or the dowel pins are sheared off at the crankshaft. Either way, the Flywheel is LOOSE, and twisted enough to prevent the Clutch Disk Splines from pulling off when the engine is pulled." "Can you get it apart? asked the YFU. "Well, said the Maestro. I can think of two Theoretically Possible Ways. One is to verrrry carefully get the Flywheel exactly perpendicular to the Main Shaft. And verrryy slowly pull the engine backwards. With the Right Touch you might actually make it. The Maestro, never having that "Touch" when he needed it, didn't have it then either. He tried a Binary Search on the YFU's engine, trying every which way, but ultimately to no avail. Even with the YFU as strong as he was, pulling as hard as he could, Strength was easily overcome by Murphy's Mechanical Advantage. Ah yes, the Advantage Murphy has in Things Mechanical. About 3PM, Friday, TODAY! The YFU announced to the Maestro, about an hour and a half after he arrived: "Well, I gotta go." "You're Going?" said the Maestro,. "Aren't you gonna stay overnight?" "Nope" said the YFU. "I borrowed the truck from my buddy, and I've gotta get the truck back to him by tomorrow." And the YFU headed out the Maestro's Door, back to what is it, the Honeybee State? So the Maestro asks you- The First way of aligning the splines on an uncontrolled Flywheel requires a Fenyman's lock-picking touch. What's the SECOND way of removing the stuck engine? Besides the two sticks of Dynamite? Keep 356 Faith Maestro